Day 1 & 2: Pennsylvania

Welcome back G-Men fans to the first of what will surely be a complete and comprehensive set of tour blogs of the world renowned G-MEN 2026 TOUR. I’m Navek, a new G this year, and I’ll be taking you through the first couple days of the G-Men conquest of the Northeast. 

Tour started off strong with a four car convoy heading from Ann Arbor directly to the middle of nowhere in Pennsylvania, more specifically, a Christmas tree farm somewhere near Middlesburg. 

With potentially exciting activities such as a nearby tiger reserve being closed until summertime, the G-Men had to find other ways to pass the time. Unsurprisingly, we didn’t struggle much to entertain ourselves, with tree climbing, Wii sports, and (non-Wii, real life) football all running late into the night. 

Day two kicked off with an excursion to nearby Mifflinburg (not to be confused with Middlesburg), where the G-Men blessed the owner of an antique store with what will surely be the best (and maybe only) acapella performance she’ll hear in her entire life. The G-Men also discovered the social deception game “Secret Hitler” and fell victim to devastating manipulation at the hands of Ryan “Neva Lost” Wells and yours truly.

The wilderness portion of the tour ended at a beautiful overlook of the confluence of the branches of the Susquehanna river at sunset. Legend says that many a G-Man was able to hurl a rock over the entire river thanks to our superior arm talent granted by the gods.

And with that, we say goodbye to Pennsylvania. Massachusetts better get ready; 16 G-Men are incoming.